gatissimo

deduction019:

alyreality:

What is we’re all wrong about series three? I mean, everyone assumed that series two would begin with the bomb going off and that obviously didn’t happen, and now everyone assumes that Sherlock will return from the dead after three years of detangling Moriarty’s web, to find John broken and perhaps married.

But what if we’re completely off again?

Which better FUCKING mean that he comes back after a shorter amount of time rather than three years. 

Spoiler: he’s actually dead.

Once upon a time there was a giraffe named Jorge. He like to eat cupcakes. He liked cupcakes so much he decided to marry one. She was a beautiful red velvet cupcake named Latrice.

Latrice and Jorge were very happy together, but the community found them strange; not only because oftheir odd union…after all, one was food and one was an animal. How could they even be together? Jorge did not care. Jorge took his delicious wife to a cabin in the wood and decorated their house with all of her friends: Jessica the Gum Drop, Mary the Icing, Chloe the chocolate fudge. One day, though, Jorge was very hungry. He had not eaten leaves with his fellow giraffes in a long while, and his wife looked delicious. His sweet tooth ached and his stomach growled. “Maybe just a lick of her frosting,” he said to himself.

He seduced his bride and while rolling around, he took a lick of her frosting. She would have screamed in pain, but she is a cupcake and they don’t talk. So Jorge thought Latrice liked being licked rough.

Suddenly, out of the blue, here was a knock at the door! The couple began to scramble like eggs. They knew they weren’t supposed to be seen together in these parts. They heard footsteps walking away so Jorge continued, becoming too eager. Latrice had forgotten what their safe word was. Things quickly went haywire.

Thats when Latrice pulled out the blindfold and weed whacker. “You’re gonna love this!” she purred, starting up the machinery. “I’ve never been with a hairless Giraffe before!”

Jorge yelped and ran for it, but Latrice was faster. The cupcake laughed as she watched her husband. “Dang. I guess the frosting licking is over.”

The End.